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Kremlin Orders 3,200 Mice. No One Knows Why

March 27, 2008

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3,200 white mice have been ordered by the Kremlin guard: the elite troops who protect President Putin.

Kremlin orders 3,200 mice
Red Square Moscow, Image by Bart Slingerland

The bulk buy has been shrouded in secrecy. Apparently all that is known is that the requirements were that the mice had to be female and weigh no more than 18 grams each.

An official from the service said “Everyone is wondering what they are for. But if they were ordered then that means they are needed.” The same official also refused to speculate what the mice were for, saying there were “more important things to think about.”

All of this is pretty strange. Of course, there are some plausible explanations: could an elite army of loyal rodents be the natural choice against the numerous threats issued by elephants against the Kremlin? Will the mice play a role in testing toxic and dangerous chemicals? Or are they there simply to feed the falcons, which are kept in the Kremlin to scare off crows?

Nonetheless, according to Reuters, the Kremlin has found a supplier and is going to be paying 475,776 roubles ($20,000) for the mice. Can anyone beat that?

Info from Moscow News

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Comments

25 Responses to “Kremlin Orders 3,200 Mice. No One Knows Why”

  1. Avatargale w
    1

    apparently this will be lab rats to conjure up some concoction against?

    Reply to this comment.
  2. AvatarFilepromptdotcom
    2

    For food obviously, all the Russian politicians are all snakes

    Reply to this comment.
  3. Avatargeorge
    3

    Duh. Mice are very good biological agent detectors — small body mass means THEY DIE QUICKLY if something foul is about.

    Of course, I’d just buy 500 and breed the rest, but whatever.

    Reply to this comment.
  4. AvatarRagle
    4

    you don’t need that many to make a fully grown man to hide under an overcoat do you?

    Reply to this comment.
  5. AvatarCraigie
    5

    OMG the Kremlin leaders are all LIZARD PEOPLE! Just like that 80s miniseries, V !

    Reply to this comment.
  6. AvatarGabe
    6

    Duh. Mice are very good biological agent detectors — small body mass means THEY DIE QUICKLY if something foul is about.
    Of course, I’d just buy 500 and breed the rest, but whatever.

    They’re all female. Not sure how you’d make that work.

    Reply to this comment.
  7. AvatarAnonymous
    7

    Has anyone thought of the fact that April Fools Day is just around the corner, and maybe the Russkies are trying to pull something off? Or perhaps some lowly clerk in the accounting office decided to slip in the order for the mice, hoping that it wouldn’t be noticed until April 1…the Russian bureaucracy moves slowly, but maybe their timing was a little off.

    Reply to this comment.
  8. Avatarrichaed
    8

    I wonder if these mice have been declawed.

    Reply to this comment.
  9. AvatarSteve K
    9

    I, for one, welcome our new rodent overlords.

    Reply to this comment.
  10. AvatarNate
    10

    Did anyone see the Simpsons episode where they milked rats for the school milk program?

    Reply to this comment.
  11. AvatarPhil
    11

    Genetic experiments and the outcome on the off-spring.

    Or an old Roman dish, mouse stuffed with pine nuts?

    Reply to this comment.
  12. AvatarBraz
    12

    There was a discovery a couple of years ago that found a way to control a mouses’ actions, a pleasure stimulating device was attached to the brain of the mouse which would give it positive signals if it followed the desired direction. A mouse was able to be guided through a maze using this device.

    Couple years on who knows what sort of advancements they made to this device, if they attach it to a army of 3.2k one can imagine a few things you can do with that.

    Just a radical theory :P

    Reply to this comment.
  13. AvatarFellaz
    13

    Either that or they are gonna film a ‘mice on a plane’ movie.

    Reply to this comment.
  14. AvatarNik
    14

    They are used for food for falcons.

    “all the Russian politicians are all snakes” - LOL

    Reply to this comment.
  15. AvatarBrad
    15

    Is it just me or did this whole article seem to be talking about something wholly different from animals?

    Reply to this comment.
  16. AvatarPensando
    16

    Remember “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
    Mice are smart enough to manipulate humans to purchase them and then take over

    Reply to this comment.
  17. AvatarCorvid
    17

    Falcon food is the most logical. This explains the weight cap (saves weighing the mice before feeding them. Trust me, it’s a pain) As for the gender…well, it keeps them from breeding.

    Also, lizard people.

    Reply to this comment.
  18. Avatarbobbybob
    18

    $6.25 per mouse? That’s outrageous.

    Reply to this comment.
  19. AvatarNO!
    19

    the kremlin guard is trying to make super mice!
    canada already has an army like this (link below)

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/brianbogdan/root/october/SaskGopher.jpg

    watch out guys WW4 will be fought with mice……not men

    Reply to this comment.
  20. AvatarDavid Worth
    20

    As I have pointed out before elsewhere. This is all Harry Huttons fault.

    Reply to this comment.
  21. trackback trackback:
    21
    MAKE: Blog

    Puzzle - Kremlin orders 3,200 mice…

    Ok gang, try and figure out what the Kremlin is “making” with 3,200 mice… via Evil Mad Scientists. My guess, they’re going to enter the M-prize or a mouse-mouse for each office worker…….

    Reply to this comment.
  22. Avatarlotusflower
    22

    Perhaps to fatten the cats :-)fattened cats are then made part of a kind of exotic sausage meat eeewww

    Joke:-)

    Cheers!

    Reply to this comment.
  23. AvatarAllison
    23

    you don’t need that many to make a fully grown man to hide under an overcoat do you?

    Actually, at 16 grams each you would need more….

    Reply to this comment.
  24. AvatarMonkey325
    24

    Lol at all you funny peeps comments but you have all overlooked the obvious. The rats will probably be used to create a plague which will be unleashed upon all humanity. That or they are training for a new pied piper.

    Reply to this comment.
  25. AvatarMike
    25

    I think they want to cover their own Software market. Micerosoft… LOL

    Reply to this comment.

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