Do You Really Want To Trust Scientists To Tell You Why Flirting Doesn’t Work?
Mon, Mar 31, 2008
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In light of this item from the Daily Mail, telling us that the female flirt is doomed by the male mind, I ask you, isn’t this a bit like consulting a zookeeper about why your car has broken down?
Image from ijerf on Flickr
In all seriousness, though, this was done by some very, very good scientists– the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. I expect that they know what they’re talking about, as they’ve studied it for longer than I’ve been alive. And who am I to throw stones, anyway? I blog for a living.
This study, though– it says that even the most effective flirt will be doomed, because men simply can’t categorize body language as “flirty” or “friendly.” This was conducted over a relatively small sample size–280– and may end up saying more about the population of IU and surrounding Bloomington than anything else, but I’m inclined to believe that I probably suck at discerning what, exactly, it is that women want from me.
Compounding that matter? Women overestimate how well men understand body language, the very heart of our weakness. Which of course leads to subtlety, which means that men miss the point, and don’t react, or react at the wrong time… you know, the more I try to explain this, the more I can’t believe that anybody got a grant to study it. I knew all of this by seventh grade!
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April 2nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Just wanted to make a slight correction. Dr. Colleen Farris, who did the research, is a member of the Department of Psychological and Brain Science, not The Kinsey Institute. They are both at Indiana University, but they are not the same thing.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Oh hon, when I flirt, they know it, believe me. :)