“Global Warming Hoax” Conference Was a Hoax Itself
Tue, Apr 1, 2008
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Global warming, the potentially catastrophic rise in temperature that’s skyrocketed over the last 20 years, threatening to raise sea levels and disrupt weather patterns, is a hoax. Just Kidding!
Image from Juampe Lopez on Flickr
A group of politicians and scientists assembled today in Nashville, Tennessee, for a press conference to, as they put it, “let it be known how got played.” “Yeah, you guys got rodgered, but good,” said Al Gore, fomer Vice President of the United States, who assumed leadership over the cabal in 2000 as a manner of revenge against George W. Bush.
Gore, who just yesterday announced a $300 Million advocacy campaign to raise awareness against the fabricated emergency, says he now plans to spend the money on a Las Vegas trip for “me and the posse. You know, T-bone, ‘Lil Ricky, Fly High, and G-Lo. We gonna make it rain, y’all.”
Gore continued: “I was in really bad shape after that 2000 election. You guys saw me– I got fat, I had that beard. But once my boy Doc Spencer gave me a call, and told me I could get all a’y'all back– well, ok, it might not have been fair to the people that voted for me. But I didn’t exactly see riots in the streets, you know?”
The environmental movement, which would most likely be understood to be ecstatic after finding out that what they had believed to be the seminal issue of our time was imagined by three drunk graduate students during a football game between the Universities of Florida and Georgia, has instead become openly hostile. “We used to be able to go on with science, and make fun of people with hummers and big houses because they were hurting the planet,” said Aidan Foster, a member of Earth First. “Now we have come clean: we just don’t like them because they’re rich. And we’re poor! And dirty!” Mr. Foster, who smelled strongly of marijuana, left in a hurry when offered the chance by a man in a Sierra Club t-shirt to spray paint their names on the lawn of his house.
In other news, today is apparently Energy Wasting Day:
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“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else.”
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Have any of you guys hear what the New Jersey Nets are doing to in the fight against global warming? Not only are there games now carbon-neutral, but they traded Jason Kidd to the Dallas Maveriks for the a “better environment” also. Julianne Waldron explained to the media that Kidd was giving off to much Carbon dioxide. “Jason Kidd always hustles when he is on the basketball court, and we all admire that greatly. But all of that running up and down the court, pushing the team out on fastbreaks, expending extra energy just to make a few extra points and possibly win a game, caused all of the players to breathe a great deal more heavily and thereby expel extra amounts of carbon dioxide into the air, and we all know that is bad for the environment. We made the difficult decision to trade Kidd in order to save the planet.” Check out this article I found on it Environmental Activism is the Key to the Current Success of the New Jersey Nets
April 4th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Scientists in the U.K. have reported evidence that further refutes one theory of global climate change.
In the heated debate over global warming, there is an opposing idea, called the cosmic ray theory, which contends that climate change is simply caused by cosmic rays coming from the sun.
April 4th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
If you put all the everdence in the bag then the truth of the matter comes out If you leave half of it out, the half that tells the true story then you get out only what you put in.
What happened to the Medieval Warm Period and the Little Ice Age.
Nemo